Updates

So a lot has happened since my last post of breaking up with my boyfriend. I lost my job at the bank I worked at. I had worked there for a year and a half. I had even become supervisor. Although there was much too much work for one person to take on by themselves. I did my best to keep up with it but apparently that was not good enough. About a week or so before Christmas, I was informed that I was being removed from the supervisor position. It crushed me and I asked them not to hold it against me if I was in an upset mood that week. It is understandable for that to happen when I am basically told that I suck at my job. Anyways, that same week on Thursday I was called back into the office and was told that I was just in too much of a bad mood and acted like I did not want to be there so they didn't want me there either. So I was fired a week before Christmas in 2008. It totally sucked and I went home, thankfully my mother was there and she had a large glass of wine and let me totally vent. Well, I drank half of the glass and decided that I had to find another job. So I went out that same day and looked. There is absolutley nothing for me in Logan so I had to go all the way to Lancaster. I went to a few places then ended up at Damon's in the mall. They had me fill out my application while I was there and I got to talk to the manager the same day. He liked me so I started the next day. That was the quickest job turn around ever.

So I have worked at Damon's since the end of December and I met this awesome guy. He was the bartender there and totally cute. I would have totally thought he was out of my league. The hostess who trained me convinced me to give him my phone number and I am so happy that I did. My daughter went to spend a week with my ex and I was making a joke with him. He was talking about how much he had made in tips that weekend and I asked where he was taking me. He asked if I would drive, since he doesn't have a car, and I said sure. We went out to a bar that night, had a few drinks, listened to music, and played darts. We had a fun time and then our conversation turned to sex. OF COURSE! So while we were talking, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and make out. So at this time my stomach is doing flips because I am so excited. So we go back to his place, and I start by giving him a massage. When I went to get off his back, he flipped over and asked me where I thought I was going. Then we started to make out. He is such a good kisser. Anyways, one thing led to another and we had totally hot sex!!! It went on and off for like 12 hours. I didn't think I would be able to walk after that. It was incredible. The best I have ever had. Anyways, long story short, we are still "together" now. He has told me that what we have doesn't need to be anything more that just fuck buddies but I am hoping for more. He did say at one point that he didn't like relationships because of the drama. I totally understand that. The only thing that I would want between Tim and I to change is to get to hold his hand more often and just to be able to refer to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend. I know that sounds cheesy but I am a hopeless romantic. Well, thats enough for now. I will try to post more later. I don't know if anyone actually reads this but it is a nice diary.

Its Over

Unfortunately, my relationship has ended. It was a nice 4 1/2 months but is has come to an end. We decided that we were on different pages and it wasn't gonna work out at this time. We are planning on remaining friends and I am very happy about that. It has been very fun talking to him and hanging out with him. We just decided that the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship was not for us at this time.

My Authority

What is the point in giving me more power and authority to make decisions when it comes to checks that we cash. I have been given the go ahead to tell my tellers whether or not it is okay to cash checks without having to ask my supervisor for an okay. So, now that you have that to think about. Here is the situation that has pissed me off today. I had a customer come in earlier this morning with a $400 dollar three party check to cash for someone else who had signed it over to them. Now according to our guidelines we can cash the check if they have matching funds in their account to cover the check if for some reason the check is returned for insufficient funds. They did not have matching funds so I told her that we could not cash the check. So she told me to deposit it in her account, which according to our guidelines we cannot do either because that person's name was not on the account. (If you couldn't tell, they cram these guidelines down our throat) So the customer left mad and I went about my business. Later in the day, I was finishing up my work and getting ready to balance and leave for the day, well one of my tellers came up to me with a check to get my approval, which is what they are supposed to do. And wouldn't you know that this was the same check from earlier in the day. So I told her the same thing that I said earlier, that we would not do the transaction and they would have to go some where else. Now, having been turned down twice, she left very mad. So i finished my balancing and work and got my stuff to leave. As I was walking through the lobby towards the door, my manager was on the phone and snapped at me to come over. Now first of all, don't snap at me if you want my attention, that made me mad already before he even opened his mouth. So anyways, he put his call on hold and asked me if I knew anything about a woman trying to cash a $400 check and was turned away. I told him yes, it was my decision because I followed the guidelines that have been put in front of us and did not cash the check. So he told me that we would go ahead and do this for the person when they came back, but just this once. So what is the point in us having guidelines if we are not going to follow them. And since he told this customer that we would do it, now I look like a total idiot. Thank a-fucking-lot!!! So much for my authority.

OMG WTF Work

Ok, so I love my job and I don't want to leave but I am stressing myself out way too much. I am in charge of scheduling people for their shifts which is not an easy job in itself but it is part of my job description. Issues with that include not being able to use certain people on certain days and people complaining about the shifts that they receive. Also, I have found myself getting to involved and not leaving on time. Unfortunately I am unable to be paid overtime so I have to short myself some where else which is near impossible since it is alway freaking busy. Like the last several days for example. I have stayed past my time pretty much every day since last Wednesday and it is starting to get to me. Like earlier this week, when I finally got myself away from my computer, I got into my car and started to cry. Not because I was upset but because I was so overwhelmed. All in all, I need to figure out how to leave work at work and not let it stress me out.

My Time Off

I have spent this whole week away from work and I had a lot planned for what I was gonna do. I had planned on doing a lot of cleaning and sorting and things. Well it is now Thursday night and I haven't gotten a lot done. I have done a little bit of cleaning but not near what I wanted to do. I still have a couple days off and I do work well under pressure so this may not be a total waste. I think I have really only left the house twice. It has been quite nice just lazing around and not having to pretty myself up and leave the house. I am not looking forward to having to go back to work. I will enjoy adult conversations but still the time off has been nice.

Moving Out

I talked with my mom the other day about an idea she had. She suggested me look into getting an apartment or home with assistance from Job and Family Services. If it was possible to get an apartment that was virtually free then I would definitely move in. I love my mother and it has been fun living with her. Yes the dogs do annoy me but it is a small price to pay for living rent free. But it is about time that I have my own place to take care of. Lexi and I are cramped into one room and the rest of her stuff is thrown about the living room. I know it is taking up my mom's house and I feel bad but I didn't know there was any other option until now. I have an appointment with a case worker to see if there is anything that they can do for me. I think what I am really looking forward to is being able to decorate and put my own stuff out. The challenge will be to locate everything in my storage garage. But it all hinders on whether or not they can get me an apartment for little or no money. We will see.

The Joys of Motherhood

So I just love being on my own with my three year old. I work all day long and spend the evening with her. I wish there was a chance that her father could spend more time with her. So she could get to know him and I could get a break every once in a while. There are days where I would just love to sit and do nothing. I know it is probably bad of me to ignore her sometimes but I just need a release. Working on my computer is my way to release tension from the day. So basically I have a week off where it will be just her and I, and I hope I have not ripped all my hair out by the end of the week. I need help with her and I don't know where to get it. My mother is out of town so she can't really help me and the only friends I had that were willing to babysit for me are no longer in my life. I have a couple people who have offered to babysit but I always feel bad asking for help. I guess there is just a time that I need to get over it and get help. I am not superwoman and I know that but sometimes I feel like I need to be that.